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(Awareness) In Absentia

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Tairais

Tairais

@Amuulzhaan 3 years ago

(( So here's the thing: School sucks, and on top of that, some stuff's gone down recently that's led to my mom monitoring my computer usage with no small amount of vigilance. Given the darker nature of some of the stuff on here, I'm reluctant to post where she can read over my shoulder, so there's no small amount of cloak and dagger tactics on my end.

Long story short, this is an explanation/excuse for Richard's absence, like Decipherer's post for Elias's and Artemis's absences. Only instead of funerals, there's smithing. And hallucinations. Always those. It's Richard, guys, what do you expect?

Feel free to respond if you'd like. I'm not sure when I'll be able to get back to you, but you're welcome to walk in on a sweaty, tinkering Richard. Just be sure to ask about don't ask about the tattoo on his back. Or the metal plates. For that matter, what kind of heathen doesn't knock before entering, anyways? I'm joking. Make him suffer if you want. I'm just here for the ride.

Anyways, I don't think there's need for any over the top warnings this time, so here goes. ))

Richard became aware of his surroundings gradually. In the same way one would slowly lower a child into a baptismal font, so too did he take in the blurry details of his room, cluttered with a frenzied hoard of papers, discarded in a manner reminiscent of butterflies on flowers. The wings of those such creatures fluttered angrily as he jumped to his feet, alarm and panic leaping to the forefront of his mind as he struggled to put the events of the past.. hours? Days? Weeks? The fact the his stomach felt like it was trying to chew itself suggested one of the latter two options.

He closed his eyes to breathe against a wave of dizziness, clicking hooves echoing in the periphery of his mind. His stomach roiled further at the sound, a grimace springing onto the corners of his lips.

Resolving to get himself some food, he bathed and donned new clothes, as he'd noticed he was still in the clothes from.. 'the incident' in the library. He'd have to.. ask Elias or Lewis what the outcome of that had been.

He stepped out the door to his room and blinked. In a single, terrifying moment, he was now facing the door, a plate of food in precariously balanced in one hand, his favorite teacup with some of his father's tea sloshing in the other.

Taking a deep, worried breath as terror began to creep through his bones with single-minded determination, Richard gently set the food down on the trunk that doubled as his coffee table before sitting down next to it. Taking a deep breath-

They Saw and they knew, they knew what needed to be done. A deep, throaty roar emanated from the caverns of his hollow chest, and bird and stag alike joined him in his raucous chorus. They would leave ash and dust in their wake when He embraced his Becoming to join them and-

-He skittered back in fear and horror, pressing a trembling hand to his face as his eyes lolled back in their sockets. This wasn't happening, not again, and certainly not here. He couldn't allow it. Wouldn't allow it. There were too many cherished, wonderful lives here to put at risk.

Perhaps Lewis was right. He didn't like that thought.

He'd have to schedule a visit to the forest again. Later though, when he was more or less out of mind from the world. He didn't like that thought either. He pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes until he saw stars.

When he removed them, the soft sunlight that had been filtering through dust-ridden curtains was gone, replaced by the subdued glow of London at night. His panicked breathing returned, and he desperately swallowed down the bile rising in his throat. A chorus of screaming "No!"'s and "Not again, never again!"'s pounded against his skull in the same way his heart beat against his ribcage and made his chest ache, ache with fear and hopelessness because he knew,

He knew there wasn't a single thing he could do about what was happening. He laughed, a bitter and high whining sort of thing more like nails against a chalkboard than the tinkling of resonate crystal that was the most common of the uncommon gesture. There wasn't a single thing he could do. There hadn't been a single thing he could have done the first time, or the second or third or fourth or-

Or, or, or.

With the same caution and reluctance any sane person would treat walking through a den of sleeping tigers, Richard gathered up the papers scattered in the uncaring embrace of the stone-cold floor. Glancing down at the jumble of sketches, calculations, and notes in his hands, he sighed quietly. He knew what he should do and what he really needed to do, but that didn't particularly mean he wanted to do it.

Still, in the end, he bit the bullet. In this, he was grateful when he lost time. Richard blinked back into reality and found his skeletal 'Limb-smithing' arm attached to where his right forearm used to be. He could still feel the phantom needles of pain where it's replacement had been, though it was nowhere near as prominent as... the last time he had removed it. Elias's fearful face flickered behind his eyelids as they closed in remembrance.

"Your hands are your instruments of life and death. You use them like a maestro of your own discordant symphony, and I look forward to your further compositions. Now, rest." There was a warm, calloused hand on the nape of his neck, comforting in its heavy weight. His vision dimmed, then vanished into the inky darkness of unconsciousness.

He wrenched his eyes open and blinked back tears and memories alike as some dark, bittersweet emotion crawled its way up his throat, he glanced down at- and nearly dropped- the shell of his former right arm. Its inner workings were strewn about his work table, sorted into a system of salvageable parts and bits for the trash heap.

A quarter of the work done, and he hadn't even been aware of it.

The watch in the pocket of his trousers (his shirt had vanished at some point as the heat emanating from the slowly waking forge grew too much to bear even despite the autumn chill) and the abrupt return of sunlight to his peripheral vision hearkened the dawn, perhaps even afternoon of a new day.

A quarter of the work done in a day, and he hadn't even been aware of it.

Sighing, he prowled into the main part of his room and swept the clutter off the trunk at the foot of his bed, metal clanging against metal within. Standing over the forge like a sentinel over a castle, he began to melt down the ores he had hoarded for so long, the pumping of the bellows a rhythmic, steady syncopation to his fluttering heart.

It was likely he'd be in a similar state for some time.

Tchk, tchk, tchk.

He closed his eyes and sighed again. The sound retreated, for the time being. It would be back. The stag always came back.

"I'd have you live, truly live. And live truly. I'd see you whole. And happy. And those you care for safe around you." He blinked, his tempo stuttering and stilling for but a handful of seconds.

Where had those words come from? He and Doctor Weir had spent but scattered moments speaking to each other, nothing beyond a cordial greeting and exchange at the door, perhaps an acknowledgement in the hallway, and.. whatever had happened in the library.

Nothing so.. painfully honest and open as that. Nothing so tempting and so trusting.

Shaking imaginary cobwebs from his head, he retreated in his mind to the forest he would see sometime in the near future, breathing in the scent of charred wood and pine sap.

He could deal with that when he had properly functioning limbs again. It wouldn't do to have them break when he needed them most.

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Miss-Dreamerkat • 3 years ago

(I hope that situation gets better for you!)

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Tairais  Miss-Dreamerkat • 3 years ago

(( Me too, eheh. I have many things that cannot and should not be done under a motherly gaze, and also I can't do half of the art I had lined up without my computer

* shrUG* ))

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Miss-Dreamerkat  Tairais • 3 years ago

(Yeah)

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Wizardblizzard  Tairais • 3 years ago

((Consider it an opportunity to practise drawing on paper. - and you seem to be good at that, I like the pic you posted! It looks like Richard all right to me, by the way. I know how it is with mistakes, it's the same with music, what sounds like an obvious mistake to you sounds fine to the person you're actually playing to!))

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Alicia Ghast • 3 years ago

(I hope things get better! I know the mom-over-shoulder thing all too well...)

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Tairais  Alicia Ghast • 3 years ago

(( Parents usually mean well, but yknow. Thanks for the well wishes ^^ ))

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Alicia Ghast  Tairais • 3 years ago

(Ehhhh

I know but it's so annoying...)

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Tairais  Alicia Ghast • 3 years ago

(( Oh yeah, yeah it is. Very much so. ))

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Alicia Ghast  Tairais • 3 years ago

(XD)

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Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago

((Oh, man! Sorry to hear of your situation--that's got to be very frustrating. I love the piece you've written here, by the way! Let me know if you feel like doing anything with Lewis/time allows.))

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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago

(( It is indeed quite frustrating. I'm here for another.. hour and 15 minutes as I post this, and now that school's started, I'll have more of an opportunity to say I'm working on an 'English project' and respond outside of school. Which.. isn't technically lying. I'm developing creative writing skills, after all XD

But yeah, Lewis is welcome to drop by and see what's happening when Richard blanks out check in on the scarmuffin in the meantime! ))

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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 3 years ago • edited

(( XD You are practicing your creative writing skills! I know I've certainly used TRpS as a nice format to take Lewis for a test write!))

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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago

(( I mean, what better way to practice imagery and abstract writing than the flashes of memory Richard continuously experiences :P

It's a win-win situation. For me. Writing practice and a chance to make Richard suffer. Sorry, scarmuffin. ))

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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 3 years ago

((It's true, though.

Exactly! I don't know why, but I have a compulsion to involve Lewis in unfortunate situations as well. I think I just want to make him squirm and see what he does/how he tries to get out of them. Sorry not sorry, Lewis.))

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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago

(( Sorry Not Sorry: a Narrator's Autobiography ))

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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 3 years ago

(( XD ))

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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago • edited

(( Oh hey pst. I just finished a doodle I started when Animal Impulses got stuck in my head.

Thumbnail

https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6c3480149b416ead0a5dab2c7fd0a0389250f8f819bac29a04e75492fb817f59.jpg?w=600&h=348

There's a younger past!Richard on the right half. Surprisingly, or maybe not so, he's the 'animalistic' one.

This is also volume 2093 of the show known as, "I can't draw my own dang characters consistently"

Also please pardon the horrid camera quality. I wanted to scan it but, well.

Electronic house arrest. ))

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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 3 years ago

((I recognized him as Richard; seems consistent enough to me! I like it.))

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Mysterious Gamer • 3 years ago

(my mother can't read everything i post here because she can't speak english xD she only speaks spanish and seems reluctant to understand what i post here anyway

hope it gets better!)

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Tairais  Mysterious Gamer • 3 years ago

(( I envy you in that regard XD It would be much easier to distort the truth for my mother if that were the case ))

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chatterghosts • 3 years ago

Come back to us soon! Hope your situation clears up.

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Tairais  chatterghosts • 3 years ago

I think I've reached the point where the initial hyper-vigilance has begun to fade, because I managed to sneak my school laptop downstairs. So we'll see, but this may mark my tentative return journey. Which is good, cos I missed everyone.

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Hyde without a Jekyll • 3 years ago

(I wish you luck with your cloak and dagger missions, comrade! I also hope the work load from school and the bearing eyes of your mother lighten up too!

This was an amazing piece as always and I do hope to read more of your writing in the future! Actually as I was reading it I was remembering when we all first met Richard [both during headcount and on his return]...we were so ignorant to the terror that laid behind that patchwork scarf and mask. I was also thinking about how Richard can't sleep due to [what I assuming is the reason] potentially murdering people as he almost did to Elias. Has Richard tried to lock himself up or handcuff himself to get some sleep and prevent this? [and before anyone gets kinky I just want to point out that's not my intention! I just want the poor scarmuffin to get some rest!])

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Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago

((Speak [or think] of the Devil and he shall appear! XD ))

Lewis had left Richard to his own devices after the incident in the library. Elias was obviously better suited to lending him emotional comfort, and Prince likely needed some space to sort through all the raw feelings and revelations that night had unearthed, Weir'd reasoned. And he'd had irons in other fires which needed prodding. So he'd kept his distance....for a time.

That time was up.

Striding swiftly down the hallway, he soon reached the door of Richard's room. He heard the breath of the bellows and paused, listening. Then he gave seven quick raps, to the rhythm of "Shave and a Haircut, Two Bits," and waited.

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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago

(( Woops, delayed response. Dinner and ice cream happened ))

The rhythm upon his door tugged at a memory weighed down by the rubble of a house long since burned, and he struggled to keep it there. He stoked the flames for a few more moments so that alloy he was creating would continue to mix, then crossed the room in the blink of an eye.

Gritting his back teeth in irritation at the momentary lack of focus, he cracked the door open, only letting his good eye peer through. When he saw the man before him, he blinked in surprise and gently shut the door, quietly murmuring "J-just a moment, if y-you would."

He hastily pulled on a long-sleeved work shirt that was somehow more ragged than the majority of his wardrobe, a mismatched pair of gloves, and the seldom-used mask that had once taken the place of his beloved scarf.

Tying his hair back, he finally returned to the door, constructing a mask of both weariness and courtesy before he opened it.

"D-Doctor Weir. T-to what d-do I owe t-the pleasure?"

(( Time for another aspect of Richard's character that's been alluded to, but never fully demonstrated: his practiced selective memory loss. Very convenient for forgetting.. interesting situations. Silly scarmuffin. One of these days you'll realize how detrimental it is, but that is not this day. ))

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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 3 years ago • edited

Weir cocked a brow.

"To what do I owe the stutter, Richard?" He was confused, and didn't like being so. "And you know you can call me 'Lewis'."

((By the way, the waistcoat he's wearing today is emerald green--the same one he had on in the library.))

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Hyde without a Jekyll  Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago

(*Silent freaking out* He called him out on the stutter!!!)

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Tairais  Hyde without a Jekyll • 3 years ago

(( *Richard freaks out internally* ))

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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 3 years ago

((Would "sorry not sorry" be inappropriate to say here? ;-) ))

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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago

(( Not at all XD ))

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Hyde without a Jekyll  Tairais • 3 years ago

(*HJ freaks out with Richard but it's out of joy instead of fear.* XD )

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Jekyll1886  Hyde without a Jekyll • 3 years ago

((I swear I never know what's going to tumble out of this character's mouth...))

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Hyde without a Jekyll  Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago

(Lewis: Professional Wild Card)

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Jekyll1886  Hyde without a Jekyll • 3 years ago • edited

((Pretty much! Also moonlights as oddball therapist and unlicensed medical practitioner.))

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Hyde without a Jekyll  Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago

(Truly a Jack of all trades. XD )

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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago

On the outside, Richard's expression shifted to a politely confused frown. On the inside, his heart stuttered in his chest as alarms began ringing in the corners of his mind.

Something wasn't right. Something was missing again.

"I.. w-was... born with it, and I w-was n-not aware we w-were at that level of f-familiarity. We h-have had b-but a handful of c-conversations."

His hands twitched behind his back, where he stood in a sort of parade rest, shoulders infinitesimally tensed.

Something wasn't right. Something was missing.

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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 3 years ago • edited

"Then how did you miraculously drop it when we spoke earlier?" he asked. What was this about? Richard was acting very strangely. Perhaps I should've come by sooner... he reflected. "And I can call you 'Dr. Prince' or 'Ričardas' or whatever you like, if it makes you feel more comfortable, but please tell me what is going on." He held Richard's gaze as he shook his head. "You seem off."

((And I have to go for a bit, but I'll be back later.))

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Wizardblizzard  Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago • edited

((These two actually had me banging on the table in hysterics. Oh my, Richard, talk about stepping on a banana skin! And everything he does now is just digging the hole even deeper. ))

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Tairais  Wizardblizzard • 3 years ago

(( Rest in peace Richard. You tried. ))

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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago

Richard's frown deepened, panic battering against his ribs. He felt the emotion well, nasty and tar-like, filling his lungs like filthy seawater.

He woke, and there was nothing but water and smoke and screams in the air. He couldn't see anything, everything was either hopelessly dark or covered with the shimmering haze of extreme heat.

He was drowning, he was terrified, and he accepted the darkness encroaching on his vision with relief.

He was Richard, not Ričardas- who was this man, digging up graves long since covered in dirt?

He forced his eyes away from Dr We- Lewis's gaze. The lights of concern, accusation, and confusion within it felt sharp, like blood-seeking needles and shards of glass pressing into his throat. He breathed out some of those shards with careful, practically growled words. "I a-am as I h-have been. T-there is n-nothing 'off' about m-me.. as f-far as I am a-aware."

A snarl slithered behind his teeth, curling in his throat with the single-minded viciousness of a vindictive snake, recently disturbed from slumber by the thundering of a gun. Falling into a habit he had thought was broken, his jaw ached as he ground his back molars.

He felt rather like a rabbit cornered by a fox, and quietly wished he had pretended not to hear the knocks over the sound of the bellows. Perhaps the buzzing feedback would have been muted by it.

(( I had to go to barn I volunteer at and help with a pony medical emergency, sorry for the delay XD ))

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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 3 years ago

Weir was taken aback, but then his mind caught the last clause of Richard's words, turned it over, reiterated it internally: As far as I am aware... He seized on it; the rest fell into place.

"I'm afraid that may be the problem," he ventured softly. "I'd come to ask how you were, and if you'd considered my offer, but...tell me, do you even remember it?"

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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago • edited

He's trying to manipulate you, don't tell him ANYTHING Something's wrong. He knows it, you know it. Let him help you, damn it. Remember what happened the last time you let someone in?

Low, droning voices clattered in his head, remnants from people who had no place in the present.

A snarl twitched behind his mask and he took an involuntary step backwards. "N-no." He suppressed a flinch at his curtness, but in all fairness, perhaps it was to be expected.

Questions swirled in his eyes covered with a veneer of suspicion and reluctance. As so often happened, he was torn in two by paradoxical feeling, and so elected to wait and watch.

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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 3 years ago • edited

Weir sighed.

"I was afraid of that. What do you remember of me, Rich--Docto--whatever you want me to call you? Do you remember the library, at least?" He counted himself lucky to have on the same emerald-green waistcoat he'd worn that night. Familiar sights could serve to jog memories, after all.

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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago

He slowly shook his head, paused, then sighed, though tension still rippled down his spine in waves like icewater. Perhaps this was a conversation better suited away from whatever eyes and ears the walls could have.

"R-Richard, t-then." He stepped aside to allow Lewis in, adding. "F-for the record, I r-remember only m-my.. 'apparition,' y-your stopping of i-it, and t-then Elias's a-arrival. Everything a-after t-that feels r-rather like l-looking at a c-charcoal d-drawing underneath m-murky w-water. I r-remember g-greeting y-you at t-the d-door, but more t-than t-that, I cannot s-say."

He paused, turning over words in his mind like so many copper coins in his mouth, sharp and sickly-sweet in the panic they caused. Nonetheless, a few spluttered forth to clatter to the ground. "F-forgive m-me, b-but w-why, exactly, s-should I trust anything y-you say as t-truth?"

Run away run away run away run away Déjà vu added a wintry taste to his mouth as his vision flickered, chains sparking into existence around his arms and legs, wrapped around his chest, the ends of which and the key to unlock them held by the man before him, just out of reach, always out of reach.

Tchlk, tchlk, tchlk.

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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 3 years ago • edited

Lewis entered and heard the door close behind him. The last of Prince's words stung him--he'd deceived so many others, but not Richard. Never Richard. He'd thought they'd begun to forge a real connection, a sharing of truth on the level of the soul. But Prince was either having him on or--more likely--pulling so far away from whatever it was he thought Lewis represented, whatever part of his being Weir spoke to, that he couldn't consciously allow himself to remember their exchange. Perhaps he simply isn't ready yet, he supposed.

He didn't bother to hide his disappointment.

"You should because it is, but I know that's no reassurance," he said, followed by a weary sigh. He couldn't help feeling a little hurt, logic be damned. "There's nothing I can say to prove it to you." He shrugged. "You'll trust me or you won't. And if you do, you'll likely forget this conversation as well, I assume to protect some part of your psyche, or out of a misplaced notion that doing so will protect your loved ones from you." He paused, then looked him in the eye, his gaze strong but almost pleading. "What am I to you, Richard?"

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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago

(( Funny thing that just happened I thought I'd share: My sister was reading this over my shoulder, as she does, and she glanced up to see what I was responding to and asked me if Lewis had a crush on Richard.

When I responded that I didn't know, but Richard was already tentatively in a relationship, she shook her head and sighed.

"Y'know, polyamory could fix a lot of heartache if people considered it. What if Lewis just wants some delicious scarmuffin."

Bear in mind, she's my littlest sister, and is in middle school. The deadpan serious delivery and the complete unexpectedness of it all made me choke on my tea. Just. Wow.

Also "What am I to you, Richard?" Excellent question Lewis, I'm glad you asked. ))

Indignation, confusion, panic, fear, guilt, and weariness battered the inside of his skull like so many frightened birds, scattering as a storm grew ever near. The edges of a hidden tapestry in the corners of his mind frayed, fibers floating to the ground to rest with the dust and ash of so many similar moments

He wanted to trust Lewis, but-

But what? What was holding him back?

He stood upon a seaside bluff, the ground quickly eroding beneath him as he waited. There was no time, no time and still he deliberated, without a care in the world.

He would fall, and he would ignore his own screaming in favor of watching the colors of the sunset bleed together as they roared past him.

He glanced at the chains shivering in and out of view still, gaze noticeably lingering on them now. A hole appeared in the tapestry, and a tiny thread of memory fluttered into his grasp.

This had happened before. Masks had fallen, teacups had shattered, and the pieces had cut into his very sense of self in a manner that could only be described as gloriously, dangerously addicting in relief it provided.

A myriad of microscopic expressions flickered over his face before it settled into one that simply seemed to say 'Ah. Well...'

A few more minutes of tugging at the thread would be all it took, and he both lauded and lamented the idea. So many things were out of order, missing, or replaced, he scarcely knew where to begin.

Making a small gesture towards the other man, he 'accidentally' let part of his mask flutter to the ground. "You who would hold the key to my.. Becoming..."

“One. Two. Three. Four. Mm, yes, the quickest way to man’s heart. That was to be our final lesson before your Becoming."

He shook the image from his mind, envisioned chains constricting, stealing his breath.

"Also holds the key to my undoing, the ability to tear down ancient castles and crush me under their stones." He frowned, threads of memory fumbling and slipping from his hands like water in a thimble into outstretched arms. "You could be a friend. I am not certain yet."

The ore he was melting had probably done so already. He had plenty to spare should the need arise. Simple thoughts darting like minnows: he could focus on those when the shark was dealt with.

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Hyde without a Jekyll  Tairais • 3 years ago • edited

(I'm in the same boat as your sister...I've actually been asking myself that question since their first encounter [which was why I was typing weir cryptic things back then...] Also all we need now is a food name for Lewis and the breakfast love triangle will be formed!!

...I'm so sorry... DX

Side note: POOR RICHARD~! DX )

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Jekyll1886  Hyde without a Jekyll • 3 years ago • edited

((Ah, that's what you meant back then! I see now.

Re: breakfast: Pick some kind of tea, then. Like Earl Grey or Darjeeling. Or possibly a scone, I don't know. [I just happen to like those things.] And tea seems somehow more refined than a food item; it requires proper brewing, is a comfort when warm, and becomes bitter and off-putting if you let it grow cold. I also like the fact that not every cup of tea is to everyone's taste; same could be said of Weir.))

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Hyde without a Jekyll  Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago

(Yep! I didn't want to say anything in case it ruined the dynamics...but now that it's out in the open.... I'm extremely curious as to what their relationship/friendship/relationship will turn into.

Oh boy!! You better watch out Elias because I think the coffee might get replaced by tea! XD [P.S. Elias is in some serious trouble right now and I'm not sure what it is but I do know he needs rescuing.])

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Tairais  Hyde without a Jekyll • 3 years ago

(( ... *muffled Tairais cackling in the distance* ))

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chatterghosts  Tairais • 3 years ago

(( YOU'RE CACKLINH BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHO HE'S WITH, ARENTCHA ))

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Tairais  chatterghosts • 3 years ago

(( Yup. And because I know what's happening, and because I'm imagining Richard's reaction. ))

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chatterghosts  Tairais • 3 years ago

(( DRAW IT.

In good time, Arty'll assemble his willing pals - Richard included - and go on a manhunt. Who's excited for that, am I right? ))

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Tairais  chatterghosts • 3 years ago

(( .. *Darts away to find a spare piece of paper*

* Richard raises both hands, Tai raises a hand and a pitchfork* ))

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chatterghosts  Tairais • 3 years ago

(( One: I'd have Elias say something about that, but...

Two: Which person are you angrily pitchforking at? There's two, and you are well aware of one of them. ))

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Tairais  chatterghosts • 3 years ago

(( I'm just helping with the manhunt, just point me at someone and I'll run over them with my draft horse and a pitchfork. That being said unless the person I am well aware of Elias (which I don't think it is XD), I am absolutely going to run over them. And run them through. Etc. ))

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chatterghosts  Tairais • 3 years ago

(( *one deep, manly snort from one and a very familiar, sassy gasp from another*

Take that as you will. ))

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Tairais  chatterghosts • 3 years ago

(( *Hefts pitchfork, yelling out a battlecry and cantering into the sunset* ))

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chatterghosts  Tairais • 3 years ago

(( Oh my gosh. ))

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Tairais  chatterghosts • 3 years ago

(( The funny thing is I could probably actually do that. *Tai then begins to calculate the probability of pulling such a feat off without spooking my poor horses* ))

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chatterghosts  Tairais • 3 years ago

(( Tai no don't ))

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Tairais  chatterghosts • 3 years ago

(( Tai YES ))

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Tairais  chatterghosts • 3 years ago

(( Also dude I just had a hilarious thought remembering a comment about Richard and Elias being in a band:

Richard plays violin. Richard also trained in the art of Ballet.

Richard could basically be Lindsay Sterling. Im laughing way harder than I should about that. ))

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chatterghosts  Tairais • 3 years ago

(( Elias is dating a professional musician, y'all. ))

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Tairais  chatterghosts • 3 years ago

(( You say professional as if the last three times he's performed haven't been for Elias, on a roof, and for Elias, respectively. ))

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chatterghosts  Tairais • 3 years ago

(( Shhh. ))

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Tairais  chatterghosts • 3 years ago

(( Hey man, I'm just sayinggg.

Also I'm editing the Honk Honk document. Page 4 of 83. @Me: Why. Also I just realized I'm gonna have to add more things. *Screech* ))

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chatterghosts  Tairais • 3 years ago

(( I can actually work on that tomorrow! But, uh, don't die. And sleep, dammit. ))

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Tairais  chatterghosts • 3 years ago

(( I finished through the first bit of the 'main timeline' I've chosen, so I'm headed off to bed now. Unless you're gonna be awake still in which case I insist on staying awake too.

I'm gonna work on it tomorrow too probably. Instead of studying for the 3 tests I have or doing the english project due at midnight that night. @Me: Why. times two. ))

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chatterghosts  Hyde without a Jekyll • 3 years ago

(( Haha. Funny story about Elias and polyamory... ))

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Tairais  Hyde without a Jekyll • 3 years ago

(( Poor richard is right XD

As a side note if another confession of love ever happens, Richard is going to just.. blue-screen. It was weird enough one person didn't want to murder me what the heck is this who hired you who sent you I WON'T FALL FOR IT basically. ))

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Hyde without a Jekyll  Tairais • 3 years ago

( XD Richard...oh Richard... What will we do with you!)

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Tairais  Hyde without a Jekyll • 3 years ago

(( Give him lots of encouragement that can't be heard and yell at him like a character in a tv show. ))

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Hyde without a Jekyll  Tairais • 3 years ago

(...so the same things we've been doing since he has arrived...I think we can manage that! XD )

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Tairais  Hyde without a Jekyll • 3 years ago

(( Yup, just keep on keeping on XD ))

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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 3 years ago • edited

((Ahahahaha, that's hilarious! XD Thank you for sharing it with us!))

"Fair enough," Lewis conceded. "I understand both the allure and the reluctance, the push and pull of inner currents. To sail the high seas is also to risk the whirlpool. And to leave the presumed safety of land behind."

Concern creased his features.

"Just take care your 'castles' don't become your tomb, Richard. Even a man behind walls can drown in his sleep when a high enough wave crashes in."

His gaze intensified, conveying a sense of delicate urgency.

"And I read all the signs of a rising tsunami in you."

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Hyde without a Jekyll  Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago

(MY EMOTIONS!!! WHY DO YOU PLAY WITH THEM SO?!)

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Tairais  Hyde without a Jekyll • 3 years ago

(( >:D Because it's fUN and because I love shoving Richard into uncomfortable situations ))

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Hyde without a Jekyll  Tairais • 3 years ago

( DX AGH!!!! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO ME!?!

I was in class when I read this and I than forced my table mate [who is also a really good friend and puts up will all my TRPS ranting] to read it. He said it was very well done...but he was also confused since he doesn't really know what was happening... DO YOU SEE WHAT I HAVE TO DO!? I HAVE TO SHARE THE FEELS!!!! DX )

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Tairais  Hyde without a Jekyll • 3 years ago

(( Now, see, I just ramble incoherently to my friend Conner about story choices, which led to me mentioning this forum. He reads everything now. He's addicted. He yells at me for making Richard suffer so much. He's probably gonna read this sometime tonight.

Hi Conner! o/ ))

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Hyde without a Jekyll  Tairais • 3 years ago • edited

( XD That's brilliant and you do make Richard suffer so much!!

I've tried to get my friends hooked but they're tooooo busy so I just yell at them about the stories...it's gotten to the point where they just put in some head phones and continue on with their life as I follow them around ranting...

Also hi Conner! :) )

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Tairais  Hyde without a Jekyll • 3 years ago

(( Your friends need to step up their friendship game. XD He messaged me on Skype to tell me to tell you hi. So, Hi. ))

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Hyde without a Jekyll  Tairais • 3 years ago

(They put up with so much as it is I are not ask for more! XD

Wonderful news! I'm glad he received my message and I hope he enjoys the stories! :D

[Also reading Hamlet which might explain any weird wording these next few days.])

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Tairais  Hyde without a Jekyll • 3 years ago

(( XD That's fair. He said he's looking forward to, and I quote, "When you [I] get off my lazy @$$ so that your [my] murder son can meet Hela/another 'Hyde' and wreak havoc."

Hamlet's a good choice for a read.

Oh, something you might be intrigued with: I'm currently working on an art piece mimicking Decipherer's movie poster for Elias. I have never switched art styles as much as I have in this dang picture. Also my hand is screaming and I haven't even inked it yet XD BUt yeah. I have... 5/6 characters drawn, and gods know how many more little symbols to throw in. ))

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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 3 years ago

((That sounds amazing! Can't wait to see it!))

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Hyde without a Jekyll  Tairais • 3 years ago

( XDX That's a lovely/terrible idea! I'm worried that we would lose half of our characters if that were to happen! I mean after last time with Hela... UGH! [though think of the drama and story!!]

I'm reading it for class at the moment and it's going pretty well so far!

OH WOW!!! I hope you'll share it with us when you're done as it sounds amazing already!! I also totally feel you on that symbolism wagon! There never seems to be enough! )

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Tairais  Hyde without a Jekyll • 3 years ago

(( Drama is my bread and butter, thats exactly what I'm thinking off.

I actually finished it last night. And by last night I mean at 2 am. Im waiting for an opportune time to scan it and share it with you all. ))

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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 3 years ago • edited

((Dammit, Lewis, why do you want in on this? You haven't even met Hela yet!

I look forward to seeing your art!))

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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago

(( Chaos works like good old Andy Warhol said: one's company, two's a crowd, and three's a party. Party time, guys, gals, and nonbinary pals. ))

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Tairais  Hyde without a Jekyll • 3 years ago

(( Pst hey dunno if you saw it, but I posted it up at the top of this comment thread ))

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Jekyll1886  Hyde without a Jekyll • 3 years ago

((Haha, Hamlet can definitely affect word choices! I remember back when I read it I kept thinking in quasi-Elizabethan English and had to stop myself from saying "methinks" and "Fie upon it!" several times in everyday conversation. XD ))

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Hyde without a Jekyll  Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago

( XD That's amazing! It doesn't seem to be as bad as when I was reading Frankenstein [I got really poetic on here...] but it's good to know I'm in understanding company! :) )

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Jekyll1886  Hyde without a Jekyll • 3 years ago

((Never doubt it! ;-) ))

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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago

Richard chuckled and smirked, both deeply bitter, fragile things.

"Warning signs? Some, myself included, would say I have been drowning for quite some time, or perhaps I simply never learned how to swim." He tapped the fingers of one arm against the other, the soft pings like little metal snowflakes.

Snowflakes caught in the eyelashes of doe-brown eyes, this little waif following him to the ends of the earth for the brother she'd chosen over the one related to her by blood.

In the end, it wouldn't matter which one she went with. She would have died in either of their care. His care was no less merciless than the other's would have been.

If his complexion visibly paled (which it certainly did), he said nothing.

"How would you have me escape the tide, then? Skipping past the grand design, what would be the cornerstone?"

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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 3 years ago • edited

"'Know thyself.' It's as I've said before: The only true sin is self-deception. All suffering flows from this. Keep a record of your day, your activities, your thoughts and especially your memories and dreams, should you recall them. Carry a notebook with you if it helps. If you're worried about anyone finding it, simply write in a language no one here can read--perhaps that Slavic one I heard you use earlier. Jot down the time, so you'll be aware if you've missed any. Learn all of who you are. If you wish to discuss any of it with me, then do so. If not, I'll understand. But review your log each day. And the previous day's, if you find you can't remember its contents. And so forth. Eventually, through habit, some of that self-knowledge will creep its way into your consciousness permanently. That's the cornerstone. Take a torch to the fog that blinds your mind. Let illumination shine in."

((Sorry it took awhile to respond; I had a rather long day and then didn't feel well this evening.))

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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago

Richard blinked, hints of thoughts bubbling to the surface of his face at the unexpectedness of the suggestion. (Though in fairness, what had he been expecting? A suggestion of child sacrifice? He shrugged away the memory faster than the blink of an eye.)

Would that even work? Did he want it to work? He knew what he kept hidden from himself, it had bubbled forth during.. the Incident with Elias.

He shoved those memories away quickly, locking them away in their vault.

Did he want this? Perhaps he was perfectly comfortable with his knowledge of himself as it was at present.

...

Upon further reflection, in the span of half a minute at most, he realized two things:

1) He was not, in regards to his last thought.

2) That was entirely due to the man before him.

A dark flicker, a hint of the beast never really caged, danced behind his eyes, and yet he found he couldn't entirely be irritated.

Another blink, and each and every thought and emotion was tucked away, never to be seen again. A mask reassembled, the broken pieces repaired.

"The teacup has come together for us." A conversation never meant to be overheard. Significant in all the ways he was not.

He nodded slowly, unable to find words to explain such a monumental decision, spurred by something so simple as curiosity. Perhaps that was a good thing. He could practically hear his father chiding him, away from the comfort of his mother.

"Precision of language, son. Whole empires have fallen from a lack of it. Take care you do not disappoint me by doing the same"

He stood as still as a stag in the aftermath of some distant and great cacophony, head tilted in such a manner as to determine his chances of being caught in the storm.

Tchlk, tchlk, tchlk.

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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 3 years ago • edited

Lewis kept quiet, observing the ripples play out. When the other at last nodded, he returned the gesture. Without a word, he reached into his waistcoat pocket, withdrew a small, brown-leather journal, and offered it to Richard.

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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago

Richard gently took the journal, fighting back a wave of instinctual tension when he realized he'd revealed his temporarily skeletal hand.

It didn't matter, he had to keep telling himself that. Whatever happened, it wouldn't matter.

He traced the spine of the book for a second before freezing, the movement as jarring and statue-like as ever. After a pause, he smiled, adopting the full musical hoarseness of his original accent instead of the patchwork quality of his natural one.

"Not Slavic. Lithuanian. Quite an important distinction, given our history."

Soldier, so many soldiers. Starving, wounded, forsaken by family, clutching to his little brother, doe-eyed and terrified as screams echoed in the frigid January air.

Almost thirty years a- wait.

Almost thirty years ago. He frowned, apprehension lurching sickeningly in his stomach.

The bright flash of a camera's bulb, gone in an instant, yet the impression was left behind.

He'd need to hunt down the family records at some point. Something wasn't right.

But that meant leaving home and going to the ghost of one. That meant leaving Elias, meant leaving his work and Catt and Dreamer and Lewis and all the sort-of-friends he had amassed for a journey that could take..

Months.

It wasn't imperative. It could be dealt with when this chapter of his life inevitably ended in the next great catastrophe of his life.

If his grip were still flesh, his knuckles would have been bone-white. As it stood, the leather of the journal gave a creaking protest, mind's eye returning to one brutal image after another.

There had been so much unnecessary shouting in his life. So much noise. He couldn't remember why that distinction was so important.

He would, in time. He was chillingly certain.

(( I'm operating under the assumption we're past the 1860's, given I can't remember when TGS takes place ))

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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 3 years ago

((Wait...I thought Richard was wearing gloves.

I don't know if Sabrina's ever actually said in which precise year/decade TGS takes place. I tend to assume it's set in the 1880s, as Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde was published in 1886, but that's just me.

Just for my own clarification, was Richard in the Baltic part of the Crimean War or just the later January Uprising?))

"I wouldn't care if you were French, Russian, or Hindustani," Weir asserted, "though I'm thankful for the insight. We are people first, Richard. And war is Hell for everyone." His tone and expression conveyed that he spoke from experience, his gaze briefly far away as his mind's eye replayed the horrors. For just a moment, the whiff of a charnel reek returned as he fought to focus on the room around him.

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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago

(( Frick, he was. Let's just pretend he hadn't put them on in the first place, I'm stupid forgetful about anything that hasn't happened in the past few hours.

For some reason, I want to say 1883 is the year I pictured. I'm not sure why that particular year is so significant, but hey the general time period is the same.

Also, Richard and Benediktas were in Vilnius during the time of the January Uprising. Fun times all around. ))

The distinction was more a matter of national pride, though he swallowed the bitter pill, as the course of the conversation shifted before he could say as such.

"That it is.. That it is. Man, woman, and child alike, all fall before the wrath of their own kind."

His grip slowly relaxed, though he had had a rather difficult time tearing his gaze from its place on the floor. Any further words he wanted to say felt wrong, felt clumsy in their shared experience.

He sighed, and he thought, and he paid no mind to the sounds of his ever-present companion.

Tchlk, tchlk, tchlk, tchlk.

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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 3 years ago

Weir waited a moment, coming back to himself; he noticed, not for the first time, the spidery framework of Richard's artificial bodywork. A question surfaced in his mind, but would it do to ask it? At the risk of overstepping bounds, he proceeded.

"The Uprising, Richard...is that when you lost your...?" he ventured, giving a shallow, upward nod. From the look in Lewis's eyes, this wouldn't be the first wartime maiming he'd witnessed.

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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago

Richard glanced down at his arm and startled slightly, having forgotten his project for a handful of moments. With the smile of one sharing a joke with themselves, he shook his head. Though it pained him to talk about it, to remember even the barest hints of those memories, (for he did remember them, though it was in the same way one remembered a particularly ugly set of chinaware, and as such put it in the back of a cabinet)he still did.

"No, the arms I lost elsewhere, though I did lose part of a leg from the whole ordeal." He wouldn't mention the eye if Lewis didn't. He wouldn't expand upon his answers if Lewis pressed. Understanding would come with time, and the secrets of his limbs were written in the map of scars across his body. Lewis could look, and would likely know.

Though it brought to mind an excellent question: How had he kept going?

The only answers he could think of were both simple and not: The desire for revenge. Spite, stubbornness, and an inherent reluctance to face what lay beyond the veil.

There were any number of other smaller yet no less significant reasons. Some more recent than others, yes, but still there.

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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 3 years ago

Weir inclined his head downward a fraction of an inch, then back up, his eyes closed and lips pressed together for a split-second as he acknowledged the other's loss. His own hadn't been so physical, in the end; the flesh had healed. But internal wounds were no less damaging, in their own way. The War had changed everyone, himself included.

His thoughts wending again to the present, he drew in a breath, then let it out, letting the sting of the past go with it, until it was nothing more than a dull ache in his chest and a faintly bittersweet undertone to his demeanor. He managed a small smile, but said nothing. No words would be adequate.

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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago • edited

Richard returned the sort-of-nod and offered a small smile of his own, picking at the threads of a fraying patch on his shirt. The very air itself seemed profound in their shared silence, though he could find neither words nor experience to illustrate precisely how or why.

A new memory for the halls of his mind. A new painting, a window into a shared soul. If a picture was worth a thousand words, than the caverns of his consciousness held millions and millions within their clutches, many tucked away into darkness, begging for a torch to be thrown over them.

And here before him was a man willing to hold the rope in place as he climbed and explored.

Uncertainty was too light a word for the trepidation he felt, just as determination was too small a word for the drive he felt to know himself to protect others from himself.

A cliff to jump off of, a gaze to meet to pull a trigger, clutching a burning match before a pile of oil-soaked kindling.

The list could go on and on and still, nothing would quite fit.

Distantly, his mind kept reminding him of his temporarily-abandoned project. Still, he would not stoop so low as to ask Lewis to leave. That would be quite rude.

"Whenever feasible, one should always eat the rude."

Quite.

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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 3 years ago

The silence was both profound and encouraging, and Lewis savored it, drinking its truth. But, in time, all things must end. And so, at last, he drew the moment to a close, the transition as natural as a peaceful death.

"Well..." he said, glancing from the journal to the metalwork and back to Prince, "I'll leave you to it."

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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago

Richard nodded again, temporarily smoothing the swirling eddies of emotion under his ever-ashen complexion. With a small, mischievous glint in his eye, he mimicked the words from their last parting.

This time, however, there would be less hiding. He would forget some of their encounter, certainly, but the terror within himself was overruled by the tentative promise of someone to see, understand, and reserve judgement.

He comforted the trembling man within him with the knowledge that, should Lewis turn on him like so many others, he could easily overpower the other man, despite his unassuming appearance.

"Bonne journée, Docteur. Until our paths cross again."

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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 3 years ago

Lewis smiled.

"Fare well, Richard," he returned, the separateness of the first two words evident, though not glaringly so. "Until then." With that, he took his leave.

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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago

Smiling without mirth, Richard returned to his workshop and shut the door behind him, muffling the sound of hammer and tongs and hooves alike.

TCHLK, TCHLK, TCHLK, TCHLK, TCHLK, TCHL-

He nearly dropped his hammer onto his good foot as he gasped in pain, lurching forward with the full power of the stag's run as it bared its horns into his torso again.

This time around, the symbolism and memories were just about as subtle, though they were gone before he could commit them to paper.

They seemed important, though. The taste of tea and bright laughter tasted bitter in his mouth, like the ghosts of a conversation that walked into an early grave.

He turned his neck to gaze at the shoulder of the great beast and let out a wheezing laugh, imagined blood burbling in his throat.

"I am.. n-not him. You know this, r-right?" His vision swam with spots as the scene shifted again and again, faster than he could blink, a horrifying kaleidoscope of sloppily amalgamated memories, dreamscapes, and nightmare realms alike. His head ached and pounded with the screeching cacophony of white noise that accompanied each change, the sound increasing in volume exponentially.

It drove spkes of pain through his eyes, and he gritted his teeth to bite back an anguished cry. "W-what, exactly, are you trying to s-show me?"

The stag didn't answer. The stag never answered. He supposed that was a good thing. He didn't think the stag talking would ever be good.

The pain and images flashed out of as existence as suddenly as they came, and he nearly fell forward into the molten metal before him.

Slowly and shakily breathing in, he returned to his task. There were a great many days of work ahead of him, and none were yet behind him.

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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 3 years ago • edited

((By the way, I've finally watched the first few episodes of Hannibal! It looks to be quite the show!))

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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago

(( Ahahahah! I love that show so much. You'll very quickly begin to see just how much I draw from it once you reach certain points. ))

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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 3 years ago • edited

((It's been quite impactful so far--intense, but interesting. [I'm watching it with my mom, who does not appreciate spoilers; unfortunately, I'll often see a plot twist coming before it happens, so I keep having to remember to keep my mouth shut, haha.] Also, I'm already seeing a few shades of Weir in Lecter, which is, well...weird but kind of intriguing.))

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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago

(( Oh yeah. I noticed that when Richard and he first met. Brought a small smile to my face, though there was a heavy sense of 'this is an inside joke with myself' ))

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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 3 years ago

((And ponies and a medical emergency! My gosh! I totally understand. [I live in horse country.] I hope everything went well!))

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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago

(( Oh yeah, all's well.. Now, at least. Two mares got into a fight and in the process tore down the fence, so several of the herd started gallivanting around the pasture. Of course it was dark at like 6, and in their hurry two of them managed to get snagged on some random barbed wire. So there was a lot of herding, then cleaning out the cuts, but luckily no one was seriously seriously injured. Needless to say, I got my exercise for the day. ))

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Jekyll1886  Tairais • 3 years ago

((Wow, that's quite the eventful night! Welcome to Horse Cardio[TM]! Glad none of them were in really bad shape when all was said and done.))

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Tairais  Jekyll1886 • 3 years ago

(( I have a lifetime membership to Horse Cardio[TM], apparently XD And yeah, you and me both ))

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Tairais • 3 years ago

(( Pst, have the art I just scanned all sneaky beaky like I was in a mission impossible movie or something

Kudos and love to Doodle for inspiring this mess, also known as: What is this thing called a 'consistent art style'

Drawn with a random pencil I scavenged from the depths of my backpack and several crappy pens scavenged from the halls of school that kept exploding and bleeding on me. ))

Thumbnail

https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e228e813dd149ecfad522c1f1392cbae5f8709335352f5275a867d9d11cda67b.jpg?w=600&h=790

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chatterghosts  Tairais • 3 years ago

(( AAAAAAHHHH OH MY GOSH I LOVE THIS ))

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Tairais  chatterghosts • 3 years ago

(( Mission accomplished, heck yes. Again, dude, kudos to you for the idea and the (much better) inspiring piece *thumbs up* ))

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chatterghosts  Tairais • 3 years ago

(( hhfjfjhdhsdhstOP. Don't you dare discredit your work, dammit! It looks amazing. ))

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Tairais  chatterghosts • 3 years ago

(( Listen the day I'm satisfied with a piece of art is the day I die my dude. That being said I hate this one marginally less than usual XD ))

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chatterghosts  Tairais • 3 years ago

(( Ahah, same. ))

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Tairais  chatterghosts • 3 years ago

(( Ah, the joys of being an artist. I think. ))

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Hyde without a Jekyll  Tairais • 3 years ago

(kjfreykjfevkjrelhu <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS MY FEELS AND LOVE OF THIS DELIGHTFUL PIECE!!!!!)

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Tairais  Hyde without a Jekyll • 3 years ago

(( asdasdjsk ThaNK! Like I've said, it didn't come out exaccctly like I wanted, but it was fun nonetheless. ))

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Hyde without a Jekyll  Tairais • 3 years ago

(ARE YOU KIDDING?! IT'S AMAZING!!!!! If I tried anything like that everything would end up as stick figures or wildly disproportional to the point where you can't tell who's a person and who's an oddly shaped hedgehog!

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Jekyll1886  Hyde without a Jekyll • 3 years ago

((XD You and me both!))

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Jekyll1886  Hyde without a Jekyll • 3 years ago

((^This. Right here. I second it! I can't believe I didn't see it till just now!!! It's amazing!!!))

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